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Created: 12 December 2024

In Rav. Ya’akov Kamenetsky's (1891–1986) commentary on the Torah, Emes L’Yaakov, he makes the following observation regarding this week’s parasha (pp. 178-179).

Rashi tells us that Ya’akov used three strategies to prepare for his confrontation with his brother Esav: gifts, prayer, and war. R. Kamenetsky wonders why Rashi organized the list in this order. The reason he’s bothered by the order of the list is because if one looks at the actual verses of how Yaakov presents his strategy, the order should be war, prayer and gifts. And if one looks at the sequence of the events themselves, the order should be prayer, gifts and war. Either way, gifts should not be first on the list. Why does Rashi place it first? 

Explains R. Kamenetsky that Rashi is coming to teach us that gifts, which are essentially a means of diplomacy/peacemaking, are initially the most effective means of dealing with a conflict (even before prayer – don’t bother G-d if you don’t have to). Though it may not have been presented in the Torah first, it is obvious according to Rashi that before Ya’akov would ask for divine assistance or prepare for war, he would look to resolve the conflict directly by a conciliatory gesture. This is good advice for all of us – don’t let conflicts get out of hand, don’t bring in a third party, deal directly using some type of goodwill offering and most of the time, that will diffuse the situation. 

However, be prepared just in case things go south.