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The Seder - A Study in Contradictions

It could be said that the entire Pesach Seder is a study of contradictions:

• The four cups of wine we drink symbolize redemption, yet it is customary to spill out some of our wine when recalling the plagues inflicted on the Egyptians, thereby diminishing our joy despite the fact the punishment was justified.
• Maror recalls the bitterness of our suffering, but serves as a condiment for the Pesach sacrifice (nowadays commemorated by koreich) celebrating our redemption. 
• We dip our karpas and maror as a sign of aristocracy, but the karpas is dipped in salt water to evoke the tears shed by our enslaved ancestors. In contrast, the bitter maror is dipped in the sweet charoset. 
• The apples in charoset recall the fertility of the Israelite women and the Divine protection afforded to their babies. Its texture reminds us of the mortar the Israelite slaves had to produce for bricks. 
• Many have the custom of eating a hard-boiled egg at the Seder, representing both the Festival Offering and mourning for the loss of the Temple. 
• We recline for matzah (redemption); sit up straight for maror (servitude); and then recline when we eat matzah and maror together (“Zecher l’mikdash, K’Hillel”), symbolic of redemption. 
• After Birkat Hamazon, before we begin saying the second part of Hallel, the custom is to open the door that leads outside as an expression of faith that tonight is the leil shimurim — a night of protection and ultimate redemption. Yet, at the same time, if it is dangerous outside, then we don’t open the door since we shouldn’t rely on a miracle! 

And of course, there is matzah. Above anything else, matzah is the brand identity for Pesach. 

The Torah’s name for Pesach is “Chag HaMatzot.” 

There are two passages in the Haggadah that deal explicitly with the reason for matzah. 

The first is “Ha Lachma Anya,” which identifies matzah as “the bread of affliction.” 

The second is “Rabban Gamliel… ,” who explains that “the dough of our fathers did not have time to become leavened” before they were redeemed; “for they had been driven out of Egypt and could not delay…” 

These two references also reflect the contradictory themes of slavery and freedom. 

The entire seder simultaneously commemorates both our exile and our redemption. 

How do we reconcile these opposites? 

The answer, according to Rabbi, Dr. Abraham Twersky ob”m, is that we do not need to reconcile all conflicts. 

So much of modern psychology is focused on the resolution of contention.

This, explains Rabbi Twersky, has resulted in people eschewing all conflicts. 

Living with ongoing stress has become unthinkable. 

Rabbi Twersky argues that the loss of tolerance for conflict has had a profound impact on interpersonal relationships as well as on the intrapersonal psyche. 

For so many people, addictions, lack of job stability, the unprecedented divorce rate is, to a great measure, due to the inability to withstand conflict, and the desire to seek immediate relief from all frustrating situations. 

The Pesach Seder is characterized by the coexistence of conflicting ideas. 

The concept of freedom espoused in Torah is quite distinct from our modern culture, where the ultimate aim of freedom is the absence of all discord.

Cheirut — the Torah’s definition of freedom — includes the capacity to live meaningfully despite stress and the ability to grow in the face of conflict. 

The cheirut of the Torah means the freedom and ability to live with stress and conflict, to eat the pesach, the matzah, and the maror. 

Without expressing this conflict — lo yatza yedei chovato — we cannot fulfill our obligations of the Pesach Seder. 

Rachel Yehudah, a leading authority on PTSD and resilience, studied a group of Holocaust survivors to determine how they handled life after barely escaping genocide. 

She found that resilience is not a constant, steady state. 

Despite the common belief that people are either resilient or vulnerable, strong or weak, healthy or sick, Yehudah maintains that people can experience these states simultaneously. 

The Seder emphasizes an essential aspect of spirituality: the ability to live with conflict. 

Perhaps it is this very ability that is essential to our continuity.